


A little too human.

by ParrisRatLord173



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Aziraphale turns human, Crowley is confused by this, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), M/M, My First Work in This Fandom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-04-23 12:17:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19150873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ParrisRatLord173/pseuds/ParrisRatLord173
Summary: Crowley is sitting in his apartment when he gets a call from his angel,Aziraphale has... Unexpectedly become human?





	1. Human? Really?

**Author's Note:**

> reee its my first work in this fandom but oh boy I love good omens!

“Crowley… I think something may be very wrong.” Aziraphale whispered over the phone one evening, Crowley was just watering his plants. While maybe yelling various abuse that them. He could still hear this worthless shivering and shuddering from the other room. Stupid plants.

The little cactus Aziraphale himself had given him, a couple of days after the beginning of the rest of their lives. Or the armegeddon that wasn’t. Was always sitting on his desk, away from his other plants. It wasn’t that he gave it special treatment because it was from Aziraphale. (Although he didn’t really instil the fear of himself it to it as much as the others, I mean it could hear him from the other room but he didn't talk to it personally.) It was just because it was a cactus, it needed different treatment altogether. Aziraphale had put it in a little teacup pot which looked disgustingly out of place in his apartment. But he’d kept it anyway. A little reminder of the angel never really hurt.

Crowley swung his feet over the arm of his throne. “Yeah? What is it Angel?” He sighed. It’d almost been two days since they’d last seen each other. Crowley had stopped by the shop and Aziraphale had insisted he stayed for tea, and maybe a few bottles of wine… Ah well. It wasn’t uncommon for them to make plans, it was a lot more common now of course but Crowley wasn’t complaining. “I, I’m not an angel.”

If Crowley had a heart, which he did. His human form was, well, human. I mean apart from his more snake-like features. Like his eyes for one. But if Crowley had a metaphorical heart, as the angel did, (Well apparently not-anymore-angel,) It would’ve sunk in fear. “You, you fell?”

“What? Oh goodness no. I just. I seem to be.” Aziraphale paused for dramatic effect, giving Crowley more of a heart attack than before. What had happened? Just spit out you ass.

“Human.”

Crowley released a sigh that he didn’t know he’d been holding in. Oh, that dramatic fuck. “Human?” He asked sarcastically. Surely this was a joke, they were never human. Celestial or occult beings don’t just become human. It made no sense what so ever. “Yes. I seem to have, become my corporal form entirely. My body wants normal human things and I don’t really know what to do.”

“That makes no sense Angel.”

“I’m not an angel anymore Crowley, at least I don’t believe I am.”

Crowley groaned and swung off his chair. “I’ll be there in a few minutes, don’t do anything stupid.” He heard Aziraphale sigh from the other end of the line before he hung up. What the hell did his angel get into this time?He walked out his apartment still grumbling and started up the Bently, quickly (A little too quickly maybe) Driving off to the bookshop his friend resided in. Preparing for the worst of what had happened to Aziraphale.


	2. What to do?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale has a mild panic about being human and the implications finally settle in for Crowley.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having,, a good time.

“Aziraphale?” Crowley had opened the locked door of the closed bookshop through totally normal means (miracle) and strolled in like he owned it. Crowley couldn’t actually see any sign of Aziraphale yet, a quick glance around the bookshop and peaking behind bookshelves and down at his normal working desk revealed he wasn’t anywhere in the downstairs area. Unusual for a day like today, normally he could find him trying to shoo away any potential customers or reading through a new or even old book at his desk.

But now, no Aziraphale in sight. Crowley groaned and went upstairs to find the angel instead. He found Aziraphale looking even paler than usual and sipping on a glass of wine. Crowley went to smile his usual smirk but it turned to a frown when he realised the angel’s hands were shaking.

“Crowley?” Aziraphale looked up with scarily hopeful eyes. Crowley strode over quickly. “Hey, are you alright Angel?” Aziraphale smiled. “That's rather kind of you to ask.”

Crowley cringed, not his intent. Just kinda spilled out. Ew, kindness. He could be kind to Aziraphale without noticing, but oh did he hate it being pointed out. “Not kind, still a demon. Not both of us got turned human.” Okay maybe that was slightly uncalled for, the wound might be too fresh. “That statement doesn’t really make much sense dear.” Fuck the English language.

“To answer your earlier question, I’m just rather shell shocked. I do suppose this is my heavenly punishment since the burning didn’t really work out.” Aziraphale gently put down his glass and looked down at his lap. Crowley slouched into the opposite armchair and spread his legs. “Oh Crowley, what if they do the same thing to you? Once they find out what happened to me-”

“Hell’s too bloody stupid to think of something like that angel.” Crowley rolled his eyes. Best to reassure Aziraphale, although bringing it up did spark a little fear. “You really must stop calling me angel now, if I am not one.” Crowley resisted the urge to roll his eyes again, was he really so oblivious not to know the double meaning of calling him an angel? Seriously? “Old habit, won’t go away so easily.”

Aziraphale stood up. “You do realise I am a mortal now? No more miracles, human bodily functions, I’m going to die one day for heaven's sake!” Aziraphale began pacing the room in a fit of nerves, clearly, this was a rather recent development and he hadn’t had the time to let it sink in.

“Angel, we’ve been living around humans for 6,000 years we know how they act. I can support you with the bookshop, I'm still immortal!” Oh, that really made it sink in. Aziraphale could literally die, and he would be all alone… Zira would be gone. For good. No magic to bring him back. He could age and grow old and Crowley could lose him. Fuck. “I’m gonna move in.” Aziraphale snapped back to him frowning with wide eyes. “I’m sorry?”

“I can protect you! You know since your useless and helpless now. Human and all that.” Best to cover it with an insult he supposed. Aziraphale seemed to go over the pros and cons of this idea in his head rather quickly and he gently nodded. “I… I guess that may be best. Do you want me to move into your apartment or the bookshop?”

“Shops a shop and you can keep the shop. But I’m not living here angel. Really not my style. You’ll have to get used to my place.” No way in a million years could Aziraphale convince him to live here. Aziraphale was fiddling with his hands. “I have to eat now. You may actually have to stock food in your apartment from now on.”

Crowley scrunched his face in discontent, “Or we could just go out more.” Aziraphale sighed. “I will actually have to be healthy now you know, I have to maintain my body as a human would.” Crowley really didn’t like the sound of that, a part of him felt bad for the angel but the majority was disgusted by the mere concept of having to adjust to human life. “Oh heavens, I’ll have to sleep!” Aziraphale suddenly exclaimed almost making Crowley jump from the volume, and the ex-angel called him dramatic.

“You don’t already?”

“Goodness no! I read.”

Crowley gaped for a moment, “Not ever? In 6,000 years?”

“I’ve tried a few times but I very much didn’t enjoy it,” Aziraphale said quietly. Crowley ran a hand through his hair, this was going to be a disaster. “Well, come on angel, let's get going. Pack whatever you need. Clothes and stuff.” Suddenly, Aziraphale lit up. “I need to buy a toothbrush! I’ve always wanted to use one. A funny invention don’t you think?”

Why did he like this man? Why? Crowley often asked himself these question, he never really had a straight answer. Of course, the answer itself would never be straight. He loved the angel for many reasons, and for many years they were reasons neither would admit. He’d come to accept he’d loved him all along really. Also that the angel quite probably didn’t feel the same way. What with him being a demon and all. Maybe as a human though… Things might be different. In that way, it was a shame they weren’t both mortal now.

“Sure, we’ll buy all that shit on the way home.” Crowley sighed as he waited for Aziraphale to collect all his more mortal items around the shop, as well as an unfortunately large stack of books. “Let's go.” Crowley miracled all Aziraphale’s stuff into the Bently before opening the doors for the nervous ex-angel. “Hey, Aziraphale, this isn’t the end of the world. Trust me, we’ve been there and done that.”

Aziraphale gave him a small smile before hopping in the passenger seat of the Bently. Leaving the driving to him. “Thank you,” Zira said quietly as Crowley drove off at an uncharacteristically slow speed for him. Crowley resisted the urge to smile and for once in his life, kept his eyes on the road. He had a human to protect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zira's having a wild ride!! He's trying to look on the bright side tho.
> 
> Crowley's mildly panicing but thats fine!


	3. Unpack!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just unpacking really,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale's having a good time searching the flat and Crowley's doing the regretti spaghetti.

“So… Where should I put my stuff?” After an argument, while driving and Crowley being far more conscious of the road than he ever had before, they decided to stop off at the apartment for actually going and buying stuff as Aziraphale wanted. 

Crowley’s immediate response was his own bedroom, fuck he hadn’t thought of that had he? He didn't really have a spare room, his spare room was like a storeroom for a lot of his old stuff. He has his greenhouse of course but that's it. “I uh, I don’t actually have a room set up. I can do that now though.” Crowley muttered. “That's very kind of you, but… If you had no room why did you suggest this?”

Crowley, as per usual through many years of conditioning, cringed at the mere mention of being kind. Although by now there wasn’t much point denying he wasn’t the best at being a mean demon. He cared too much. “I don’t really think you can take care of yourself, stupid angel. Can’t have you dying on me, it’s not kind just common sense.” Why did he come up with these stupid excuses? Also stupid was a rather weak insult for him.

Aziraphale sighed, “I suppose. I have been living as a human for a rather long time, but without the added gift of infinite life and miracles, it will… Difficult.” Thank you, angel, for yet again reminding me of the constant fear that you will one day die and leave me. Crowley thought to himself. “That's what you have me for I suppose.”

“My own personal guardian demon?” Aziraphale joked. Jokes were new. Not funny jokes Aziraphale’s humour was terrible but… Crowley loved it all the same.

“Never say that again Angel, that was terrible”

“I think it was rather creative!”

“Just…” Crowley ran out of counter-arguments, or had a lack of care to put forth a counter argument at least, “Put your stuff in my room actually, I don’t really need to sleep.”

Aziraphale plopped down his bag inside the flat, “I can’t ask too much of your Crowley, it’s your home.” Crowley acted as nonchalant as he could, shrugging casually, “It doesn’t really matter. Just get used to really, really soft beds. I live in luxury, unlike someone who hasn’t seen a duster in a thousand years.”

“My bookshop is perfectly clean I’ll have you know!”

“I still think it’s the Antichrist's fault.”

“His name is Adam, dear.”

Crowley rolled his eyes again, he walked into his greenhouse which was of course, just off the main hall. His plants quivered in fear at his arrival and he glared above his glasses to all of them. Under his breath, he muttered ‘Behave, or else.’ They all seemingly shied away from him in either agreement or fear. If so much as one of them goes a little bit other than green they’re all dead.

Aziraphale had taken his room, as Crowley suggested. He’d mourn the loss of his bed, even if he didn’t really need it. But his whole house would smell of… Of Angel. Something good and nice. That thought sent shivers down his spine in the worst way. Gross

Well actually, he wasn’t an angel anymore. It would just smell of Aziraphale. Old bookshop and fine wines, pleasant and good while still being innately more human. Things would change. 

Crowley walked back into his own room as he watched from the doorway as his oldest friend unpacked. It hit him like a stab to the heart as he realised how domestic this was. It was as if they were a couple moving in together, they’d share a bed and their whole lives. Romantically. Crowley wanted to throw up and maybe cringe at the thought as it made his heart restrict and twist in ways a demon was never supposed to. Why did he love this man?

The man who was now a mortal to top things off! He was totally fucked, this was a terrible idea. But he definitely couldn’t change his mind now.

“Your house is surprisingly lovely, I’ve been here before of course. But it’s all very… You. The art is quite pleasing too.” Aziraphale arranged his books by author in alphabetical order on the bedside table and Crowley really wished he didn’t find that endearing. He decided to leave the room before it got worse, well at least get out of the doorway where he could still see his angel. “Thanks, Angel. Your’s suits you too.”

Aziraphale smiled, Crowley really needed to distract himself some more.

It was a scarily quick process, unpacking, Aziraphale had very little possessions and had started writing down a shopping list of things they’d actually need to buy together if he was going to successfully live as a human. Maybe including more clothes than his several suits. Clothes shopping with an Angel who hadn’t changed his style for near 100 years was going to be something Crowley wouldn’t enjoy. But anything to keep him safe he supposed.

“Let’s go buy you a toothbrush,” Crowley said as the final jacket was hung and book was placed, Aziraphale nodded quietly and they both went to the Bently together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shopping!! Awkward interactions with normal people here we go!!


	4. Eden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toothbrush

“Crowley, should I get a trolley?” Aziraphale whispered it wasn’t actually a whisper it was actually rather loud. He was way too excited about this. Crowley went into stores fairly often, especially basic stores. Finding weird things he may need or found funny was a good pass time for when one was bored. Or his personal favourite, demon memorabilia. It was so fucking stupid he enjoyed putting it everywhere he could.

Crowley ended up grabbing a basket instead, “I don’t think we need one of those. We don’t need that much.” He muttered as Aziraphale began going down an aisle to pick up each and everything and inspect it and ask Crowley’s opinion on whether it was necessary. “We don’t need a stupid egg cup Aziraphale! Calm down.” Crowley snatched the little cup with a duck on it and immediately felt bad for snapping at Aziraphale’s childish curiosity. He ended up glaring and putting the useless cup in the basket anyway.

“You got your toothbrush now, and toothpaste. Be warned, very minty.” Crowley fake gagged, it was a well-known fact to his companion he hated the flavour. Apparently tasted like medicine. He only used that since the humans said it. He didn’t actually need medicine after all. “Could we maybe also buy some hot chocolate powder?” He smiled. “Powder? Surely there's a better name for that. But yeah I suppose.” Crowley followed his happy little angel around the store as they picked up all that seemed necessary. At this point, he realised he probably should’ve gotten a bigger basket but was unready to face defeat.

Maybe this was Aziraphale’s intent all along? Get him to admit they needed a bigger vessel? But seeing him so stupidly excited about such stupid things may have brought a smile to Crowley’s face.

They paid for everything and put the bags in the back of the Bently, “Make sure they don’t spill everywhere or you’re cleaning my car yourself! I will not have houseware everywhere.” He glared at Aziraphale in what he hoped was a menacing way but Aziraphale simply laughed and they pulled out the parking lot. The day was strange but a good way to settle down.

“Do you remember the garden?” Aziraphale mumbled, they were sat outside in the park almost back to back on a park bench staring up at the stars as Crowley named each and everyone he saw. By now it was dark outside of course.

Crowley scoffed as his dearest friend buried his head further into his shoulder. “F’course. I was there Angel.” He remembered the garden, of course, he did. The colours, wildlife and Adam and Eve. They may not have stayed longer but despite the long year's, everything remained in perfect detail. The flowers, the greenest grass he had ever seen through all these years. The first rain he shared on the wall with his angel.

The first pure and wholesome being he first saw since the fall, Aziraphale. Smiling for no reason other than the beauty of that entire place.

Crowley had begun as a snake, doing his demonic duty in the garden but still maybe following this being of love around. His ‘enemy’ 

He was beautiful, flowers seem to bloom from his mere presence and for the first time since the fall, Crowley felt peace. Of course, their first conversation had set up what had become Crowley’s only constant for 6000 years. Something he’d never let go so long as he lived.

“Could you… Describe it for me please?” He sounded nervous. Crowley sighed, “Very green. I don’t know it was, bright and happy and full of all the newest things she had made. Humans, plants, animals and all things in-between. It was magical seeing it especially as something who only saw things so grotesque for a long time. I remember you and me, we had our wings out. S’nice.”

Aziraphale hummed, “The flowers were brighter than any other garden. I remember your snake form, black and red with such bright eyes. I saw you on that day.” Aziraphale added. “Crowley… I’m starting to forget. My… My human memory doesn’t go back as far.” Aziraphale added. Oh, so that's what this is about. “Don’t let me forget a thing. Please.”

“I won’t angel, don’t stress ‘bout it. Hey, do you remember the first thunderstorm? You held your wing for me. Always a gentleman, before it was even common courtesy. And for the enemy? How scandalous.”

“Oh please I’d already given away my sword, hadn’t I?”

“A rebel after my demonic heart.” Crowley said sarcastically, “We both did stupid things our sides didn’t agree with. But I think that's common throughout the years don’t you agree?”

“Mmm. I don’t know where I’d be without you.”

Crowley once again, felt his heart jump but desperately tried to calm down once again. “Right back at you.” He muttered. They stayed out in the park almost the entire night. Aziraphale needed sleep now however and eventually, a tired ride back in the Bently was in order and the first of many exhausting nights in their new life took hold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a really gay moment with an women listening to From Eden together and now I get not only Ineffable Husbands soft gay vibes from it but also my own gayness!! It's too gay!!

**Author's Note:**

> Lets rock and roll i guess!!
> 
> Crowley has no clue how to react to this™


End file.
